Leaving you behind

Here it is five years later.
I'm seeing 90% of my class married with kids
Married, or just getting engaged.
Where am I though?

I'm still finishing off college
Figuring out my next move
Wondering if I'll ever find love
I'm finding me

I look around and see the happy couples
I think I used to have that
Then I remember what happend
Lack of time for eachother

I guess I'm sorry that I'm a full time student
I'm sorry that I work at night so I can support myself
I'm sorry that I believed in the happily ever after picture
that you painted for me.
I'm sorry that I wasn't everything you thought I was

I'm sorry that I have a temper
I'm sorry that You couldn't talk about your problems
I was an open book
You closed me out of yours

It's been five years
Since I graduated
Five years since I was told I will fail
Five years since I was told I'll be lonely for life

I'm starting to believe it.
I'm starting to wonder if someone could ever love a girl like me
A girl who fights with all her heart for everything she believes in
A girl who loves unconditionally

I'm that girl who has been so hard on herself
That when I do find happiness I hang on
Hoping it doesn't go away
But You walked out

You abandoned her
You weren't strong enough
I'm that girl who will find her way
through the storm
I am stronger than I let on

Five years of naysayers
I won't believe them anymore
I won't let You hold me back
I won't appear weak any more

Five years later
I'm doing exactly what I want to do
Leaving You in the past




Interpret this how ever. It's poetry. At the very bottom however is how this poem came about and why I chose to write it. 









This poem is about a combination of things: the last five years along with the most recent heartbreak mixed in. I mixed the two because they sort of go hand in hand. I was always told I wouldn't be successful, and that I would never get married. I thought that with this most recent breakup it was the perfect time to reflect on myself and how much I've grown in the last five years, but more specifically this last year, when I thought Happily Ever After was going to happen. It didn't he walked away when things got tough and I was getting tired of how things were going anyway. If I tried to make plans, I always got the answer "We'll see," but he had time for his friends, just never for me it seemed.