Crossroads

Crossroads, that's where I seem to be right now
I was doing okay at least that's what everyone thought
It was the I miss my friend that made me start thinking again
Everyone on thought I was okay
That's what I made them believe
I'm good and I was moving on
Inside I've been fighting the internal battle
Moving on trying to let go
Then there's a song or a few
And I'm back to thinking about us
not just you not me but us
Crossroads now that I'm at now
Well I have to choose between us
and keeping my friend.
He means the world to me
As do you
I'm at the crossroads
Either path I chose
I end up the one in pain

Music

Readers,

If there has been one thing that I've learned it's that music is powerful. Each time I listen to a song, even if it's not the first time I've listened to it I find some new way for it to be relevant in my life. There are so many songs out there that have helped me through break-ups, losing a friend, and just life in general. Most of the time I'm listening to music when I'm writing and that's what really helps me find my focus. It will take me to a moment that is significant and finds the emotions that I need to bring out in the piece. Heartache seems to be the most recent of emotions that I'm bringing out. I'm not going to lie it was a tough breakup. The one person you think is the one and you make plans with breaks your heart. Then doesn't even care until two months later when they start missing you. It's usually around the time that you think you have moved on and have finally healed all the wounds. In reality though you haven't you are still keeping the bandages on until the wounds have fully healed. The other thing that could happen is that your best male friend who seems to always be there when the time is right is there catching the pieces of your broken heart, only to find out that he doesn't feel that way. At least that's what he's telling you, however making plans for next summer and knowing your work schedule indicates something else. Most of my guy friends don't know my work schedule and we barely make plans a day in advanced. Again music was there to get me through all of it.

Finding music to listen to isn't just a hobby but for me it's essential that I find the right song to help me deal with whatever is bothering me. Gloriana's "Can't Shake You," Luke Bryan's "Crash My Party," Lady Antebellum's "Get to Me," and Better Off Now (That You're Gone). All songs that I have found something in to help me through the last few days. "Crash my Party" a great song about love and how he's telling her that he will always be there. I some how wish that this was my life and it is for just being friends but nothing more than that. "Can't Shake You," the break-up song about how they can't let the person go, which seems to be my issue right now. The other two well one is where she is wishing he would get to her as fast as he can and make everything better and the other one is saying that I'm better that you're gone. All of these songs have helped me write some powerful things, but they seem too personal for me to share them at least at this moment.

Readers, go out and find those songs that make you think about your life and the emotions that the music brings out.

Reason tells me

Reason tells me to run far away
but being so caring I must find out what's wrong
So I reply
Then get the fateful words of I miss you
I miss you where were those words
two months ago
where were those words when I needed you
You want to be friends again
I don't know if I can be
the scars will always be there
You know where the wounds will reopen
you know my heart better than any one
But you shattered it without a care in the world
Reason tells me to run far away

Just Friends

Things have been great between the two of them
He makes sure she's okay and she does the same
They talk casual conversation
Nothing serious
Deep down though she wishes there was more
"Just Friends" that's how they describe each other

In her eyes yes it's fine
but she wants more
Long distance isn't ideal
but it would work
Especially since they both care so much
But they are "just friends"




It's not finished, but it's a start. It's where I am in life and if something should change I will finish this post. Until then I'm leaving it at what it is because I'm happy with where I am in life.

Why Now?

Two months and now you want to talk
I have no words for you
I have nothing to say except I've moved on
You go and ask a friend how I'm doing and if I'm seeing any one else
I would love to tell you that I am
But that's lying and I'm going to lie to you
If you wanted to know why not come see me
Why Now try and walk back in like nohing is wrong
You weren't around
Pushed me to my breaking point
Heck, I'm not even sure I want to talk to you
You never made time for us any way
Maybe now I don't have the time for you
But I'm not going to do that I either
I will simply tell you that
I'm happy
I've moved on
And I don't need my really good friend to kick my butt
Cause I know he will
It's been two months too long
the time for talking was that night when everything happend
not now

Still bogged down with writers block

Sometimes writers block gets the best of all writers. We think we have the perfect idea of what to write and then when we sit down to write it out, or type it out we lose it. Then there are those times we sit down start writing and then lose the idea all together of where we want the piece to go. Well readers that's been my problem for a while now. I sit down to type out my thoughts and get them into a form of poetry and the idea gets lost or I start typing and I think Where am I even going with this piece?

It too could be caused by the fact that things that would normally inspire to sit down and write haven't been very inspiring lately. Relationships, and friendships are where a lot of my ideas come from and mostly from my own experience. However, I'm in a good spot right now with my friends, and while yes I'm single, I'm in a good spot. I'm moving forward and not letting that guy who so badly broke my heart have no more control.

I wish I could say readers that there is a new guy, but there isn't. Nothing to gain inspiration from as of right now. I'm looking at old pieces hoping that I can try and remember what they were about and maybe finish them. However, some of the pieces are at least 8 years old and I don't remember what inspired me to start the piece and not finish it.

Readers, I'm plagued by writers block right now. For that I apologize that there aren't new pieces up. I'm hoping soon that I can break out of this rut and find some inspiration.

Dealing with Writer's block

Writers block has not been my friend the last few weeks. I've been writing, but nothing feels like it normally does; leaving me unsatisfied as a writer. I guess all writers struggle with writers block but I've been dealing with it a lot lately. I have tons of unfinished pieces that I would love to finish and get up for you, my readers, to enjoy. I'm hoping that by taking a break from writing and re-focusing on me, I will be able to clear my head of everything that is clouding it.

Hopefully soon readers I'll have something new for you! Until then just enjoy summer and being surrounded with friends and family.