A battle

It's a nightly battle for sleep
I fall asleep but only for a couple of hours at a time.
I wake up and think about you
I always think about you and your wonderful son
I replay my favorite memories of us
But it's never the same
It doesn't help me go back to sleep.
It just makes me miss you even more
Then the tears come and I finally cry enough that it wears me out for two more hours of sleep.
I get up look at my now puffy face
and think how much makeup will I need today.
You always told me I was beautiful without it
It's what now covers the sunken eyes and dark circles
Eye drops erase any sign that I was crying.
The day starts but not with my once soon to be husband and son
It starts with me alone playing all the songs that remind me of you and us and eating breakfast alone
I go about the day
Fool the world into thinking I'm okay
Inside I'm a wreck
I wonder where I go from here
My heart tells me don't give up
Don't stop fighting
I never have its just life has a different idea for us
I don't know when to call or text
I am your biggest supporter
I always will be my love
I love you and only you